John the Baptist (Luke 3:1-20)
This brings us to some 15 years after Tiberius Caesar took over running the whole Roman Mob. A bloke named Pontius Pilate had the franchise for Judea, while Herod ran Galilee shire, his brother Phil ran the Iturea and Trachonitis branch, and Lysanias controlled Abilene. Two blokes named Annas and Caiaphas ran things at the Temple.

God gave the whisper to John (the son of Zeck) in his desert humpy. So John went all over the Jordan water catchment area calling on everyone to turn back to God to get their slate wiped clean. This is what old Isaiah said yonks ago: 'a voice, shouting from the bush, 'Prepare a track for the Lord to travel on. Widen the track, spread out the gravel, cut down the bumps, fill up the dips, straighten the curves, smooth out the ruts'and everyone'll see the arrival of God's Rescue Mission to Planet Earth.'

Here's a sample of John's preaching to the crowds that came out to be baptised by him: 'You mob of snakes! God's very aggro with you! Who warned you to try to scuttle out of the way' Don't just say, 'Abraham was our old man.' God can make kids for Abraham out of lumps of rock if he wants to! God's axe is already hanging over your heads, and you'll be cut down unless you turn over a new leaf.'

'This is a tall order,' the mob whinged. 'If God stacks on a turn, what can we do?'

'If you've got a couple of coats,' said John, 'give one to a bloke who's freezing. Share your tucker with folks that need a feed.'

Even the tax collectors'who were sharks and bushrangers'came along and said, 'What do you want us to do?'

John said, 'Give people a square deal. Stop robbing them blind.'

And some soldiers said, 'What about us?'

John said, 'Don't behave like thugs. Don't demand money with menaces. Just live on your pay packet.'

Everyone got real excited and said, 'Could John be the Promised One?'

But John said, 'Look, I'm just baptising with water. But another bloke is coming, who runs on six cylinders compared to my one. I'm not good enough to put his thongs on his feet. He'll baptise not with water, but fire'and with God's Spirit. He's ready to drive his harvester over the paddock: the grain goes into the silo, but the chaff is chucked out and burned'in the fire that never goes out.'

That's how John told the people the Good News.

But John also ticked off Herod, boss of Galilee, because of a bird called Herodias (his brother Phil's wife) and a stack of other stuff he'd done wrong. Herod stacked on a turn, and chucked John in prison'making one more wrong thing he'd done.

Jesus gets baptised (Luke 3:21-22)
When the crowds were being baptised, Jesus joined the queue, and he too was baptised. Then, as he prayed, the sky opened up and God's Spirit came down, like a big white cockatoo, and settled on him. God said: 'You are my own dear Son, and I'm really pleased with you.'

A battle of wills (Matthew 4:1-11)
God's Spirit led Jesus away from the river beyond the driest part of the bush to the stony desert where Old Nick nagged at him for 40 days. During that whole time Jesus didn't have a bite to eat, and by the end his stomach thought his throat had been cut.

Then that old devil said to him, 'If you're God's Son, use your powers to turn this lump of rock into a nice piece of fresh damper.'

Jesus answered: 'The Bible says you can't live on just tucker'to survive you need every word God has spoken.'

Then Old Nick whipped him up to the top of the Temple tower, and said: 'You can easily impress this little lot. Show them you're God's own Son'jump off! There's a bit in your precious Bible that says, 'God will send his angels to stop you splattering like tomato sauce on the footpath.''

Jesus answered: 'The Bible also says, 'Don't think up foolish tests for God, your Lord.'

Finally, Old Nick took him to a hilltop and pointed out all the kingdoms of the world, saying, 'The whole lot can be yours, Jesus my lad. You can have the whole lot bowing and scraping to you, at a perfectly reasonable price. Just bow down to me, and with a snap of my fingers, they're all yours. Now I can't say fairer than that, can I?

Jesus answered: 'The Bible says that only God is God, and God is the only one we should serve as God.'

At this point Old Nick chucked in the towel, at least for the time being.